Where did you get a picture of my penis
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize