I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
