I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
