If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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