it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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