Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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