hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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