put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
