return my video game
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
