By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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