We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
