we're blogging at a bar
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
