he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Its about making memories worth repressing
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
