i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
