Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
from now on my penis is your penis
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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