I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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