it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize