i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
so much tequila, so little girl.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
