No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize