Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
