That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
