I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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