yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
