youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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