You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Please don't give away my fajitas
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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