It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
