well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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