Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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