I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
