We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
