im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize