i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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