my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
