We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I want to make a zoo with you.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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