Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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