i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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