So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
