weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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