Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
