walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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