Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
