About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
