Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
