spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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