Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
