i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
