if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Your face is a jimmy john
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
