Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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