therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Randomize
