She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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