In the future we'll all be gay
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize