I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
