My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize