I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
