after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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