Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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