Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
