my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
