Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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